Written By: Daniel Kinsley
Welcome, folks! This is our 2nd Annual Live-Blog coverage of the Academy Awards here at The Porkchop Express…back by popular demand (Shout-out to Ryan, Nikkole, and Sam!) Earlier today, we gave you our predictions about what will come away with the big prizes for the 92nd Academy Awards. Follow along for our live comments, and let us know what you think! Winners will be marked in bold!
We’ll see you at 8:00 EST!
8:00PM: Janelle Monae as Mr. Rogers—WE ARE ALL HERE FOR THIS.
8:05PM: Now THAT was an opening!
8:06PM: Somebody put Steve Martin and Chris Rock together in something stat.
8:14PM: BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: BRAD PITT
8:16PM: Brad Pitt with the KILLER speech…again. The man, the myth, the legend.
8:23PM: BEST ANIMATED FILM: TOY STORY 4
8:24PM: Well, I saw that coming, but SIGH. This is weak.
8:25PM: BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM: HAIR LOVE
8:27PM: Josh Gad is hit or miss for me. But that Idina Menzel joke was gold. Take that, Travolta!
8:33PM: Okay, that was a pretty great spin on the song. More of that, please.
8:36PM: Kelly Marie Tran stanning Keanu Reeves is all of us.
8:39PM: BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: PARASITE
8:40PM: YASSSSS BONG!!!! BEST PICTURE HERE WE COME. What a gem.
8:45PM: BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: JOJO RABBIT
8:48PM: BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM: THE NEIGHBOR’S WIDOW
8:48PM: My first miss of the night! I haven’t seen any of the shorts yet, so I can’t weigh in but always happy for the winners. The GOOD HAIR folks had a great speech. This guy is pretty good, too.
8:50PM: Taika is the first indigenous director to win an Oscar, EVER. What a stat.
8:54PM: These two are gold, but this bit is…not funny.
8:56PM: BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN: ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD
8:56PM: I called that one! But also, any award for OUATIH is righteous!!!
8:59PM: BEST COSTUME DESIGN: LITTLE WOMEN
9:00PM: Likely to be the only win for this one. Period film winning best costume design feels right. I’m not mad.
9:08PM: Great documentary intro.
9:10PM: BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: AMERICAN FACTORY
9:11PM: I didn’t see ALL of the nominees, but I did see this one. A very interesting and worthwhile film. Produced by the Obamas!
9:14PM: BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT: LEARNING TO SKATEBOARD IN A WAR ZONE (IF YOU’RE A GIRL)
9:16PM: BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: LAURA DERN
9:18PM: LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. Who doesn’t love Dern? Wouldn’t have been my pick, but c’mon: IT’S STILL LAURA DERN!
9:27PM: Here for the song montage. PURPLE RAIN, BABY!
9:30PM: Not sure why Eminem is here, but AYYEEE.
9:31PM: These crowd reaction shots are fucking hilarious.
9:38PM: BEST SOUND EDITING: FORD VS FERRARI
9:39PM: Well, yeah. But let me take this opportunity to say you should see this movie! It’s very good!
9:40PM: JUSTICE FOR AD ASTRA!
9:40PM: BEST SOUND MIXING: 1917
9:49PM: I mean, we did not need a recap of the show? But that was pretty good. Here for the John Travolta/Idina Menzel jokes.
9:51PM: Marty reaction shot to Eminem’s performance vs Billie Ellish reacting to Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig. Whomst did it better?
9:53PM: BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: 1917
9:53PM: Not my favorite film, but Deakin the God winning again feels like JUSTICE. Dude is an all-time legend.
9:55PM: JULIA LOUIS DREYFUSS, everyone. SHEESH!
9:55PM: BEST FILM EDITING: FORD VS FERRARI
9:56PM: Glad to see them picking up some well deserved awards. This one got kinda lost in the season, but it’s great! Mangold is a treasure. Even though Thelma is a legend and it should have been her. Justice for THE IRISHMAN!
10:00PM: Classy Kirk Douglas shout-out by Hanks.
10:03PM: More Zazie Beetz, please.
10:13PM: Yooooo this dunking on CATS is the least these motherfuckers could do for that nightmare. I’m having PTSD.
10:14PM: Aaaand they ruined it
10:14PM: BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: 1917
10:16: Ray Romano got jokes.
10:17PM: BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING: BOMBSHELL
10:17PM: Didn’t see it, but that Charlize transformation alone was enough to convince me.
10:19PM: Charlize and Margot Robbie in the same shot…is it TOO sexy?
10:20PM: UPDATE: It is not.
10:24PM: BEST INTERNATIONAL FEATURE FILM: PARASITE
10:25PM: You love to see it. The reaction is HUGE. BEST PICTURE NEXT?
10:27PM: Bong: “I am ready to drink tonight.” The first rule is party!
10:37PM: Sigourney Weaver is a fucking icon. “Are you Zuul?” What a trio to represent feminism.
10:41PM: You can not tell me JOKER has the best OST this year. Or the best anything. C’mon.
10:42PM: BEST ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK: JOKER
10:45PM: BEST ORIGINAL SONG: “I’m Gonna Love Again.” (ROCKETMAN)
10:46PM: How do you not love to see Elton John win, though? Justice for Taron!
10:48PM: They haven’t played off ANYONE yet! Is this a record?
10:51PM: SPIKE is a fucking LEGEND!
10:52PM: BEST DIRECTOR: PARASITE
10:52PM: HOLY SHIT! IS BEST PICTURE NEXT?!!?!??
10:54PM: Bong and Marty. Kings supporting kings. You love to see it. Truly.
10:55PM: BONG JOON-HO, ladies and gentleman.
10:58PM: Billie Ellish crushing this segment. One of the better in memoriams in recent memory.
11:05: BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE: JOAQUIN PHOENIX
11:07PM: We life in a society… Kidding aside, my man is a terrific performer, I just wish he’d won for a movie and performance I liked more. Justice for Banderas!
11:13PM: BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE: RENNEE ZELLWEGER
11:13PM: I mean, whatever. I love Rami but the irony of these two meh impersonations…I would have gone with ScarJo or Saoirse in a walk.
11:26: BEST PICTURE: PARASITE
11:26PM: THEY DID IT!!!! HISTORY!!!
11:32PM: That’s all, folks! I’ll have to tally all the predictions to see how I made out but it was a pretty good (and fairly quick show!) Thanks for watching or stopping by! Till next time…